Sunday, July 22, 2012

So Much Love

It has been only a couple of weeks and I LOVE LOVE LOVE this little lady!  She is such a joy.  I love the way she makes a million expressions while she sleeps and the sound of her farts, too cute!  I never imagined that something so small could take up this much room in my heart.

My absolute favorite thing is when she falls asleep on top of my chest.  She is such a little hot box and to feel her warm little body is pure joy.  It is literally the highlight of my day.  And then when she is waking up, she starts to make these little noises and stretch and it takes like 10 minutes for it to happen, but then she will look up at you and there is just this moment where you look into each others eyes and connect.  Amazing.



And on top of that, I am slowly coming to terms with the breastfeeding.  I have an appointment to meet with the lactation consultant tomorrow and depending on how that goes, we may move to just pumping and feeding with a bottle.  We have been doing more bottles this weekend, due to the fact that my nipples are sore and it hurts too much to have her breastfeed if she is not going to latch properly and I already feel less stressed.  I am not dreading the next feeding like I was when we were breastfeeding, and she is still getting all the essential nutrients from breast milk, just from a bottle instead of a breast.  For some reason I felt like I was failing by giving into the bottle, but I already feel better.  My sister said it best when she said that if this was going to be the only time that I have a child, I should be enjoying it as much as I can, rather than stressing over the little things.  And if nothing comes out of tomorrow, I am at peace with my decision and  will pump and feed my little lady with a bottle.  And all will be well. 

At the end of the day all that matters is that Olivia has a healthy and happy mother.  And that is what I plan to be.

1 comment:

Pam said...

You said it perfectly. Time goes by so fast when they are this little, and you need to enjoy and cherish each minute. You are a great Mom and Olivia is a perfect Little Lady.