Friday Nights

So we spent our Friday night watching "The Five Year Engagement" and smelling Olivia's binkie.  And yes we are wierdos and captured it on film.  I love that girl and even when I get two hours away from her I am smelling her blankets... We are definitely going to put this one in a zip lock and pull it out from time to time to remember the wonderful smell of our girl.

Only One More Month

Let the countdown begin... I go back to work in a month.  I have mixed feelings about this one.  On the one hand I am excited to get back to a normal routine and to a place where I am challenged intellectually, since lets be honest the most challenging part of my day right now is making up songs to sing and figuring out how I am going to fit in my pumping and naps around Olivia's schedule.  But then Olivia and I are just starting to really like one another.  She smiles at me and laughs at my singing and we have these wonderful naps together and I will miss them so much.  And I know that I am going to have only a few hours a day with her on the weekdays when she is not sleeping, and that will be rough.  I don't know how Paul handles it now, I would feel so left out if I was him... And I will be.  Someone else is going to get ther smiles and laughs and see her first moments of doing new things, and I will be at work dealing with the adult versions of immature children.  Oh wow I said I wanted to go back to work, right?!?  I do.  And I need to keep reminding myself that it is the best thing for both Olivia and I.  I know that I was not cut out to stay at home with her all day long, and hopefully this will be make me make the most of each and every moment with her.

Not only do I go back to work and have to leave Olivia, there is the little matter of having to fit back into my work clothes post pregnancy.  And sadly I think that this might be stressing me out more than leaving Olivia.  I was so excited to have lost 25 pounds in the first few weeks after delivering Olivia, but here we are a month later and I not lost a pound more.  And though that is fine since all I do is wear sweats and shorts most days, it will be a rather large issue come October 1.  So in an effort not to have to pull out the maternity wear when I go back to work, I am starting a diet and will actually start working out.  Don't get me wrong there have been a few failed attempts at working out in the last few weeks, but walking and doing yoga once a week won't really cut it at this point. 

Starting today, I am cutting out the carbs (when I can) and adding in more veggies and fruits and stopping all the regular soda drinking I have been doing.  And I will workout in one way or another for 30 minutes every day.  I have to lose at least 10 pounds before October 1 to feel good about fitting into some of my clothes.  My ultimate goal is to be below my pre-pregnancy weight by January 1.  I have to say I regreting all that crap that I ate during my pregnancy right about now.  I cannot believe that I gained 40 pounds and ate so much fast food, something I never thought that I would do... But oh well. 

This is right when I found out I was pregnant, so technically this is my before picture.

This is not cute, and was from about 6 weeks before Olivia was born.  I swore no one would ever see this one, but posting this will help keep me accountable and motivated to stick with the diet.

Wish me luck... October 1 is right around the corner!

This Week in Madore News...

So it has been a pretty long and trying couple of weeks and I never thought that I would be able to say that we spent time visiting two Grandma's in the hospital.  Grandma Garrett, as I called her, was admitted to the hospital on August 14th and passed away on the 17th.  I don't know that I want to say too much about this, as it is too hard to put into words how hard this whole thing was on my family and me.  But I will say that she was one of my favorite people growing up and being able to speak at her service was one of the greatest honors of my life.  I will miss my Grandma more than she will ever know or more than I am honestly willing to admit. 

And then Grandma Creekmur went into the hospital once a few weeks ago and again this week.  She has been having issues with muscle control and dehydration, making it hard for her to live alone and manage the normal daily activities without difficulty.  And with this last visit to the hospital she was diagnosed with Huntingtons Disease, which came as quite a surprise to all of us.  It's a genetic disorder that normally shows symptoms much earlier than late in life.  As odd as this was to hear, in some ways at least its nice to know that we might have an answer to what is going on with her.

Needless to say its been a rough couple of weeks.  And to top it Olivia had her two month shots today and though she managed to make it through it with some intense wailing, it seemed like she handled it like a champ... Till now.  She has been super fussy all night.  You cannot put her down and she is having a hard time finishing a bottle.  It's so sad.  Nothing we do works... But thankfully Paul is carrying her around trying to calm her, since that is not something I can handle.  I am just not good with the intense crying.  But then again who is really?!?

Yeah so that is what is going on here. 

Hello World!

We really love bathtime around here!  So cute!

I'll Have To Think About It

Six little words that have forever changed the future of a relationship in my life. 

Not enough words to express how disapointed I am in this person...

Life is fleeting

When I was younger, much younger like 15, I never imgained life ending.  I had no grasp of what the end would be like or when it would come, there was no need for thoughts like that.  Being young allows you the ignorance to do without thinking and to move without hesitating, and then you grow up.  You start to realize that life moves quickly, sometimes too quickly to even know how you got from point A to B.  People start to come and go and at some point you notice that years have gone by and you are already in your thirties... How did that happen?!?

In the last six weeks I have come to terms with how fleeting life can be.  One day you are in the bathroom taking a home pregnancy test and then you are in the hosptial welcoming the most beautiful person into the world and then you are deciding to put your spouse into a home.  Where does that time go?  And how do we make it slow down...  I know that there is no way to stop the clock, but making sure that I appreciate every moment of this life will surely help.  Almost six weeks have passed since we brought our little lady home and there have been some hard times, but I would do anything to make it slow down just a bit more.  She has already grown so much and in no time at all she will be off to day care and then college... No way I am ready for that.

Anyways the point to my random post about time moving too quickly is to say that I get it.  Took me 32 years but I get it.  Make every moment count and love the people that are with you and make sure that they know it.  Be happy, be nice and be honest.  Simple solutions for a very complex life.

Happy 1 Month Olivia!!